Monday Memories #17

Welcome to Monday Memories where I share my exciting life, at least to me, with you to hopefully help those out there to try not to make the same mistakes I made...

I was home again loving the feel of the hot, dry, desert air for I was safe again. My transfer to Bob's Big Boy was successful, my parents found myself and Amy an apartment. I had a bicycle to ride back and forth to work, my mother took Amy for me a lot which eventually became my downfall not blaming my mother in any way.

I was in love with my first apartment alone. I biked back and forth to work, my mother lived close enough, about a five-minute drive, pick up Amy bring her home when I got home. She also took Amy on the week-ends.

My new apartment was a 1-bedroom with a tiny kitchen but that was fine with me. My tiny kitchen had a window that looked out to my front grassy enclosed yard which I loved to sit out and sunbathe. I would take an icy tall beer out with me turning a nice golden brown color.

I had a small dining room space, a living room, bedroom which was where the bathroom was. I had set up Amy's crib in my bedroom which was big enough for my bed as well. I forget where I got it but had a huge cable table as a dining room table with a couple of chairs to sit on. Even way back then I loved making something out of junk.

I had made friends with my neighbors one's next store were two young women who pretty much were free spirits as I was, the other neighbor being a Spanish woman living alone up in the front near the street.

I remember going out one day on the invite from my young friends to Desert Hots Springs, Calif. to the streams that came from the snow melting off the mountain. I put Amy in my lap while I floated in a huge black inner tube, we were there all day and of course when we went home later on Amy passed out cold and I landed in my giant bean bag chair falling fast asleep.

The cute hitchhiker the girls had picked up came over the next day asking me to show him the way out of town which taking Amy in her stroller I walked him to the bus stop. All was well in our little world.

Work was great and I actually waited on Kristy McNichol who as I remember had a double fudge ice cream sundae which I thought was the coolest thing in the world. This is her today.

My life was getting straightened out, I still had no idea where my so called husband was and didn't care, life was good...until I met a man who had been hit over the head, the girls brought him to me to fix him up...

To be continued next Monday...

Monday Memories #15

...continued from last Monday #14

We, my husband and I decided to move back to San Deigo ending up in Chula Vista moving into a huge complex that was filled with Navy personnel. My husband was supposed to be looking for a job ending up working at the harbor again.

I stayed home with Amy becoming great friends with a man named Tom who lived right across the stairway. I would put Amy down to sleep leaving both doors open so I could visit and still hear her. Bill was in the Navy getting hurt by steam hitting his leg and was waiting for his settlement.

My husband seemed to have trouble getting a job and after a week or two of this, I decided I was going to go out to look for work. I started down the Main Avenue going in and out of each store until I went into Bob's Big Boy, applied being hired on the spot as a Hostess.

I was overjoyed for I have always enjoyed working especially with people taking to the job seating guests as tables emptied. I had a sitter for baby Amy who was around nine months old, who knows what my husband was doing.

Then one day he didn't come home. No big deal I had Tom to keep me company. The day stretched into two weeks with my paycheck keeping all the bills paid. I didn't eat during the day saving what little I had extra after bills to feed Amy so the cooks would bring me 'mistakes', meals that were made wrong you could eat them. I knew they were doing it on purpose.

One day I was working, one of the waitresses told me I had a visitor. As I went up to the lobby it was my old Captain that I had worked for the summer before. He had tracked me down to let me know that my husband was found playing captain and had been caught. I just stood there a little shocked. I thanked him and when I got home I called my parents.

I talked to my manager who let me transfer to the Bob's Big Boy back home waiting for my parents to come get me and Amy, we were going home...

I will continue my story next Monday Memories...

Monday Memories # 14 (My Marriage By Rebound)

Thank-you all so kindly for welcoming me back, also being patient and understanding. I'm realizing that before I moved I was getting myself frazzled by fretting too much on all the wrong subjects. It's like I always do, try and cram all the knowledge into my brain until it explodes! Now I'm a lot calmer and plan on just getting my posts out there, whatever happens, will just have to happen at its own pace.

I was now six days overdue from my due date. My mother took matters into her own hands taking me for a very bumpy ride in our Volkswagon which I laughed the whole time. 

Later on, after she dropped me off at home I felt that first cramp go searing through my body. My water didn't break instead my mucus plug came out,(sorry to gross you out) so I called my mom telling her it was 'that time.' When my mother arrived I had taken a shower and she was like, "You could have had that baby in the shower" which I replied but I didn't and off we sped to the hospital.

It was important to me to have my baby natural, no drugs. Eighteen hours later I was exhausted, my husband couldn't take the pain I was in and had left the birthing room, I had dilated to a four and stayed there. You're supposed to dilate to  a ten. The last thing I heard was my doctor saying she needs a C-section.

I was woken by my nurse telling me I had a baby girl to which I replied, "No I didn't" I was so groggy until my brand new baby girl was laid on my chest. My love for this tiny being totally consumed me as I gazed into her little face. I was a mother.

Little did I know I would only have four years with her. 

I'm going to end with that for my heart hurts a lot at the moment. I will pick up the story next Monday. Until then stay safe where ever you are.

Monday Memories #13 #FixThePlus

Continuing from last Memory Monday...

I was having a blast working on my boat then I became pregnant. Up until that morning, I was never sick. Well, I was now. I had woke up on one of our overnight trips ready to start cooking starting with the bacon and oh boy, my stomach rolled completely over causing me to run for the railing.

After that, I was fine working until the end of that summer then moved back home while I was pregnant. I was starting over again renting a studio apt. in Cathedral City, California.

My big thing was going over to Thrifty's where there was a small ice cream vendor with those big tubs of ice cream which I would have four different kinds of ice cream to make baby happy, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I was becoming disenchanted with my husband, though. I was finding out he was what was called a Chronic Liar. He was shifty, lazy and a liar. That was the biggest thing, the lying. If you have someone like this in your life, best to get rid of them.

My mother was making one of her visits. This particular time let's see, I was around eight months. Mom comes in and despite my telling her that I was fine she went to the refrigerator to get some ice. That's about all there was besides a package of luncheon meat. Next thing I knew we were going grocery shopping with my mother muttering the whole time. It's kinda funny now.

After we made sandwiches she finally dropped some news on me. It was about my husband. She had seen him over at Jack-In-The-Box eating lunch with a co-worker. I was stunned not wanting to believe that. Of course, when he got home later he denied it all. I let it drop because no one really wants to think that the father of your baby would do such a thing.

That job he had was detailing cars which lasted about a week. He came home one day telling me he had a new job at J.C. Pennys as a stock person. I was over come with pride and happiness.  He was finally telling me the truth. Until my mother came over and my world was about to become shattered once again.

So mom comes over asking where my husband was? I told her at work of course. He had been leaving every day at the same time, coming home at the same time for around a week now. She didn't want to tell me but she did anyways, he wasn't working at  J.C. Pennys as a stock person. I didn't believe her and got really angry thinking my mom didn't like my husband and why was she picking on him for?

So she switched gears, said it was her mistake and that she had the best idea, how about she took me and Don out for lunch? I was excited and we went over to the Palm Springs Mall going into Pennys to where the layaway dept. was and asked for my husband. Needless to say, he wasn't there and when I showed the man a picture of him he remembered Don had gone in one day and that was it.

I blew a fuse. Mom brought me back home and I waited. When that door opened I was right there, drew back and slapped the crap out of him yelling and cussing how could you lie to me like that? He tried to get out of it but I called mom, she came back to get me where I stayed for a few days to cool off. When he came to see me I forgave him once again and left with him

Now as you have read a man doesn't have to hit you but messing with your mind is a whole lot crueler. Maybe I was extra sensitive to lying for I was very blunt and didn't lie as a rule. Not to mention I was trying to make the best out of a rebound situation...until next Memory Monday take care of yourself.

Monday Memories #12

Continuing from last Memory Monday...

I'm married now at the ripe old age of 18. My husband was 20. We had bought this little blue Ford that zipped us around and a few days later we decided to move to San Deigo. I was all for it, ready for adventure, got a new husband, let's go! We packed up a tent, sleeping bags and a few other things and off we went.

I remember staying at a campground keeping warm by having a very long hot shower. We met a guy who we befriended for a short time while often going to Denny's and drinking hot coffee all night long. Before long we needed a job like yesterday!

Now my husband had told me stories about working on the Sports Fishing boats so when we got to the harbor I was in absolute heaven. We both were hired and I was overjoyed. Pretty soon I had mastered both fishing, helping the customers and cooking on a boat this one being 64 feet long. I loved being a deckhand.

We had overnight Albacore fishing trips, we'd come in to dock the first place I headed for was the little shop that sold smoked fish and I loved it! Another place was a restaurant that sold big crab salads with white wine. I was so in love with the area.

We lived on fish and I would go barefoot with my dress tied up at the knee running all over the deck, it was as if I had been born to the sea. I believe those were some of the other happiest days of my life.

What are some of your happiest memories of?

Monday Memories #11 #FixThePlus

My first child was born at the Desert Hospital. I was in labor 16 hours with her. The whole time no drugs. I wanted natural and that was that.Unfortunately, at the end of all that time, I had become weak and not pushing wasn't an option anymore for I had only dilated to a four and you have to go to ten, the baby wasn't waiting anymore! 

My doctor made the call for a C-Section; I freaked and the last thing I remember is a white mask being put over my face. Next I'm being woken up by a nurse saying “Mrs. Barker you had a baby girl” and me all groggy telling her I did not! Then there she was my sweet baby girl.

They ended up keeping her though releasing me thinking she had jaundice and I was determined to breastfeed so for four days I went back and forth to the hospital every four hours until the nurses convinced me to sleep the night and they would give her a bottle at night so I could rest. 

I was so tired with dark circles under my eyes I looked like a heroin addict! Finally, I was able to bring her home which made me really happy.

When she had troubles sleeping me and my husband would take Amy out for a drive and it worked every time.

We lasted three years together and I don't regret being with him, but he just wasn't husband material, but he wasn't my last mistake. The lesson here was don't rebound to a guy to get over another guy to avoid the heartache pain which really really hurts.

So I remember a blonde headed free-spirited, laughing beautiful child of four and the last I saw of her was her face looking out the back window waving. It hurts to this day and still makes me cry which is what I am ready to do now.

Nothing will ever erase the pain of missing out on raising your child because of mistakes in choices that I made. Her birthday is the 21st of June, this month as a matter of fact. I have tried to find her all the while my heart beating wildly at the thought she may not want me to find her.

I have hit dead-end after dead-end but maybe someday....

Monday Memories #11 #FixThePlus

Continued from the last Monday Memories #8

There was a break for Memorial Day

If you know what a dune buggy is then you know where Glamis is. 

Our family's camper got a workout going there. Whenever we were going to go on a trip my chore was to clean out the camper. 

It was the kind of camper you attached to the top of a truck which at the time I thought was pretty neat.

Living in the desert there was always sand involved getting into everything. I would wipe the inside all down and make the bed that was on top in the front. I would check to see what we needed then bring out the supplies putting them away.

Glamis is a big square desert with miles and miles of dunes. My Dad, would buy an old Volkswagon and turn it into a dune buggy. There was welding and 'don't look' cautions that just made you want to peek at the welding. I loved the welders helmet making my dad look badass. 

The garage had tools hanging on the back wall and a bench that my dad built with those big red tool chests and welder machine underneath. I used to go out and sit and talk to him while he would be working away or trying to get out of being grounded which worked 99% of the time! 

The finished dune buggy would look awesome and off we all would go to Glamis to try her out. Try and imagine 100 or more Chevy engines starting up at once and following a trail to get to the best dunes. I was in heaven. 

One camping trip I remember quite well there was a full moon around Thanksgiving. It had just gotten dark with everyone climbing into their dune buggies starting them up. With all those V-8 engines starting up all at once, the roar was deafening and my eyes would sparkle with anticipation. 

With the full moon, you could see quite clearly as if it was a cloudy day all the dune buggy's one by one started down the trail that has been traveled over thousands of times heading for the best dunes. These dunes were so big that when you are on top and look down, the people and vehicles looked like ants. This place is huge and I will never forget the weekends of endless fun we as a family had.

I found this video for you to watch.

Where was your favorite place to have fun at?

Monday Memories #9 #FixThePlus

Continued from last Monday...

I needed a date to the Prom. Thanks to the diligence of my wonderful friends a boy was singled out. Poor guy didn't know what hit him! He was 6 feet tall with black longish hair, wore jeans & black T-shirts and had a set for seven days a week. We met and a few weeks later became a couple and then lovers, I was one month away from turning eighteen. 

 I loved his mother and we would go to his house after school and she would cook hamburgers for us after school. Between that and a roadside restaurant which served up the greatest burger and fries I would gain a few pounds then have to starve myself to lose the extra pounds. Been that way all my life with the yo-yo dieting. We had a great time together but unfortunately it just didn't work out, but I did make it to my Prom which we left early. I discovered the Prom wasn't all that great.

It's funny when you think a part of your life is over as far as your concerned but he has found me again after thirty some odd years which totally blew me away. Found my brother Chris also and talked to both on the phone, not at the same time. It felt like time had stopped rewinding itself. The Internet and Facebook can be wonderful thing.

Mexico is the best place in the world. Or one of the best places. My family and I must have gone at least twenty times maybe more. As an adult now I know why “one piece of baloney” and “one glass of milk at night with dinner” etc. was for going on vacations. It would have been nice to be told this! But again that’s why I insisted on any kids I had we would communicate. Sometimes loudly but communicating either way.

Going through customs at the border you are already getting the feel of Mexico flavor. We actually had our car stripped once which I watched with great interest. The border police were looking for contraband. 

You drive through dusty streets with vendors in the streets selling giant powdery treats for a quarter calling out their wares. Little kids are surrounding you yelling “por favor” with their little dirty brown hands stretched out pleading for money. I had been warned three things...DON'T DRINK THE WATER...DON'T GIVE CHANGE TO THE LITTLE BEGGARS...and whatever you do DON'T EAT TACOS from a street vendor it could be a ~shudder~ dog. Which of course to the teenage lover of dogs grossed me right out.

I loved the shops with the smiling vendors; it was like a covered Flea Market with Mexican shawls, shoes, toys, etc all hanging all around you. I loved it. I vaguely remember staying in a hotel once and it wasn't a very good experience with a broken A.C. and the room was filthy. When we went the next time we had a camper. I loved riding on the top bunk in that camper. I would always pass out and later when my little brother Christopher came along when he got older we would ride up bunk together giggling and laughing.

I remember meeting a young girl my age and her introducing me to my first papaya walking along the beach line not being able to speak each others language but still laughing and smiling. It was so pretty with blue skies and the water was so warm like bath water. We would run in and out at will.

Snorkeling was a lot of fun. I remember one time my cousins came with us and me and Mark, my cousin, decided to snorkel. It was a gorgeous day with a blue sky, the warm water, wetting my mask I put the plastic mouthpiece to breath in my mouth, looking at my cousin doing the same, we sunk into the water and started swimming wearing the fins my parents had bought. I loved them pushing me through the water so much faster than bare feet. 

We swam up to a giant coral hill and started circling it and a bunch of small colorful fish came swimming by which I thought was just amazing. I went to touch the cool and felt stinging on my fingers then they started bleeding. My daredevil cousin made me get out of the water and onto the beach so the blood wouldn't attract sharks. I sure miss him. That's when my cousin was alive may he RIP...

...to be continued next Monday 

Do you like my story so far?

Thinking Back Tuesdays Story #7 FixThePlus

Update: With my husband's suggestion I had told him we have a very good Movie reviewest called Nik's Pics at Facebook and also has a blog called  Lavender Inspirations where you can find +Nikki DeMc .

 She is very thoughtful of all her reviews of movies so I decided I would leave those to her and I am sticking to T.V. shows where you can find them and watch for free on the internet. I'm switching up Mondays Movies and Thinking Back Tuesdays to Monday's Memories and Television Tuesdays. 

Thursdays I have started Thursdays Are For Trivia and I will start Frugal Fridays for saving, renewing old stuff into new stuff is a big interest for me.

Continued from last Tuesday...I did have two escapes, my love of art and music...

Junior High...images are flashing by for I had some very good times despite the fact I was still a loner belonging to no group of kids but trying to fit in. Nothing like I am now that’s for sure! It is said you never forget your first love. 

Now we are getting to one of many “Happy Places” in my life. I will write what I see in my minds eye for to this day which I am now 57 years old I can still see that part of my life as clearly as if it was just yesterday.

It was the normal hot sunny day in Palm Springs, California at the pool. I was now in High School. The pool water was a nice clear blue, nice and cool. I had on my first bikini that my father had given the OK for me to wear which had flowers and ties on the top and sides. These were promptly tied tight the min. I left sight of home.

I close my eyes and I can see and almost feel the warm tile beneath me which I had splashed with pool water to cool it down so I could sit. I would sit next to the lifeguard tower which I thought was the perfect job in the whole world to get a good tan going.

There were a few teenagers and smaller children splashing and playing just your average day at the pool. There's a commotion and looking up I see Paul G. kid brother of Ann G. but since my mother had to butt in, like mothers can do, into every part of my life I couldn't be friends with Ann because her mother had “too many Uncles” which much, later on, I figured out what that meant!

With him is a green eyed totally tanned boy who I fell for pretty much right away but stuck my teenage snotty nose up in the air and proceeded to ignore, ignore, ignore. It was kinda hard to ignore them two with all the yelling, splashing and diving off that huge black inner tube they were using to play with! 

They were showing off for me! To make a long story short Paul started up a conversation which I discovered that his friend liked me and I got introduced to his friend's cousins and Paul's sister who was the Ann I was supposed to stay away from. 

I love full circles when they come around and it's a good thing! We became the best of friends and I miss them all dearly. I have tried to find them on Facebook with no success. I suppose I could try harder but would not be sure of the meeting so I don't.

There was Karen, Diane, (sisters) Ann and later on Rita. We became tight, I slept over ever chance I got, the parents were like my parents and they were Italian. Well, half Josie the mother was. 

I remember big tall shining pots of bubbling homemade spaghetti sauce with homemade bread dipping a piece into the pot and being scolded told to stay out of it; a smokey kitchen at night while the adults played cards and smoked. 

Trips to Cherry valley to their relatives who were 100% Italian to the point of stone wall oven with the delicious smells of baking bread coming out. I loved it. I often regret the path that took me away from them but all the memories are priceless.  

Do you have childhood memories that you love?

100 Exquisite Adjectives by Mark Nichol

I love learning new words or being reintroduced to one. I ran across a list of them and will add a word a day.

Word#57 Meretricious: whorish, superficially appealing, pretentious

In a sentence: If my friend didn’t decorate her house with so many meretricious knickknacks, it would be a more comfortable place to visit.

Thinking Back Tuesdays Story #6 FixThePlus

Continued from last Tuesday...Before you get the wrong idea let me explain... 

My earliest memory’s I have is when I was very young, I'd say two or three years old. It was night and no seat belt laws back then so I was standing next to my mother in the front seat while she was yelling at my father to get in the car and me crying out “daddy” which then he got in the car.


I remember laying in the back seat at night and watching the street lights whiz by which later on figured out mom was out getting dad from the whatever bar he was at. He later stopped going.

There was non-stop screaming and yelling; doors slamming and windows rattling. It took me forever to not be a 'yeller' learning how to talk things out without violence or screaming.

Being grounded was like a death sentence to me so I became very skilled at hiding the fact that this butterfly was coming out of her cocoon no matter what my poor mother did to smother it. I think because she had gotten pregnant with me, I would have a 'surprise' as she recalled my birth.

Junior High...images are flashing by for I had some very good times despite the fact I was still a loner belonging to no group of kids but trying to fit in. Nothing like I am now that’s for sure!

Having to wear (yes my mother kept on buying my clothing) what she picked out was horribly embarrassing. We would go to Sears and/or J.C. Pennys armed with mother's credit card. For some reason, my father came along and it's he that I went to with my 'clothing issues'.

I would make my argument over whatever I was being forced to wear, he would issue his verdict. I would win. It usually was about wearing outdated stuff which made going to Jr. High I knew you had to change in front of other girls in Physical Education.  No way was I going to wear cotton brief panties with little flowers on them! We settled on cotton crouch solid print bikinis.

I am part Irish, Dutch and Cherokee Indian. In the winters I was bone white while sunbathing in the California sunshine I would turn a nice bronze color. I wanted to shave. I had very hairy legs which of course made me feel very self-conscious so I sneaked into my parent's master bathroom borrowing my father's very sharp razor which I had been warned never to touch.

I brought the razor into my bathroom excited, I was going to have beautifully smooth shaved legs. I sure could have used Google back then for at least I knew to lather up my legs first. I start at the top of my foot and draw the razor along the top of my leg to my knee.

You ever cut yourself with a very sharp razor? If you have then you know at first you don't feel anything at all but you know there's something wrong. Next is this awful stinging sensation with blood flowing out of five or six little chunks of shin skin up the length of my poor leg.

I managed to finish shaving only much more carefully around the little holes in my leg. I got better at shaving after learning the hard way which was mostly the only way I learned about life. I wore pants for a week. Now I know where the phrase growing up can painfull come from. Junior High wasn't all about embarrassments, I did have two escapes, my love of art and music...

To be continued next Tuesday...What did you like to do in Jr. High?

100 Exquisite Adjectives by Mark Nichol

I love learning new words or being reintroduced to one. I ran across a list of them and will add a word a day.

Word#56 Mendacious: deceptive

In a sentence: I wish I hadn't had to be so mendacious growing up.

Thinking Back Tuesdays My Story #4

So we would stay the weekend and then the dreaded 3-hour drive home with my parents bickering and arguing all the way with my father driving like a maniac passing cars on hills that I would have a nice upset stomach by the time we got home.
Looking back I remember long summer days and my favorite time was just as the sun was disappearing over the mountain. That's when I started sunbathing my tan looked the darkest.
I was such a prankster and still am.

This one Easter I blew out eggs to painstakingly fill up with confetti and smashing them over someone's head, getting on the roof of our house and dropping a water balloon on my dad's head; jumping down out of our front yard tree and scaring the crap out of someone.

 Spending time with my friends up the street was so nice. We would take a blanket and lay down on our backs and look up at the stars and try to see a UFO which we would see an airplane and say there's one! The big fig bush that we would pick figs right there and eat them until we were stuffed.

 Standing next to my friend's mom while she was cooking and getting me to take a taste, which I promptly spit out. Surprise it was an octopus! Yuck! We had fun going downtown which my mother wouldn't of let me go but my friend's mom worked at one of the places and we would go into those fancy dress shops talking back and forth about “mother giving us her Visa card” and trying on $100 dresses. Palm Springs has a lot of fancy shops that I loved to go into.

Growing up in the Dream Homes I should have had more friends than I did. But my mother seemed to know about people although thinking about it now seems a little puzzling because she didn't make friends easily. I remember one of her friends going to her house was an adventure. It was as messy as my house was squeaky clean. I don't remember much but throwing frogs as high as you could in the air and letting them splat I seem to remember. Her kids were animals. But I liked going over there...

To be continued next Thinking Back Tuesday My Story

Thinking Back Tuesdays My Story #3

Continued from last Tuesday...
This story was inspired when my first born Grandson was still in his mommy's belly. Now I am writing for two for my second grandson who is on his way. I love you both.

                                                   Grandma Rose

I became friends with a pair of sisters who had an older pair of sisters that lived right down the street from where I lived. These girls were younger then I was but had more trust and freedom from their mother than I did from my mother. So I practically lived over there for with all the screaming and arguing at my house it was a wonderful refuge. 

When I finally found my brother, your Uncle Chris, after thirty years he has had contact with at least Jessie who was the youngest of the sisters. Jody was the older girls name. Very pretty like her mother. I remember a fig bush where we would eat our fill of in her back yard after much convincing from Jody. We would lay out a blanket, lay down looking up into the heavens pretending that the airplane lights were aliens. We were so close that we would call each other at the same exact time just picking up the phone, no ring, just both of us saying at the same time.."Hello"??

 I grew up as a single child until I was eight years old. My father and grandpa were carpenters and contracted what was called “The Dream Homes”, paying off the house was $120.00 a month plus utilities. All the houses had two designs and our house was near the Main Road. The whole place was in a circle with the school being right in the middle, grades kindergarten to the sixth grade.

  I remember moving once to San Diego, California but we moved back. I remember a trailer park and a very cold trailer and feeding squirrels peanuts by hand. In my new school, I had made one new friend and went over to her house listening to music and being silly dancing to with a banana peel for a hat on my head. My old school sending me a Valentines Day Card signed with my schoolmates name on it.

My mom was pregnant with my brother at that time and I barely remember a house we had moved into and squishing my finger in a doorway. Funny the stuff you remember. My Aunt Stella and Uncle Dan, my Dad's brother lived in San Diego, but we ended up moving back home to the Desert. I loved and missed San Diego. My Aunt and Uncle had a two story drafty house which us kids trampled through after we traveled the three hours to visit them. 

There are one older brother and two sisters and later to come another boy. My cousin Mark is now in heaven. I remember lots and lots of green foliage. The cool air that warmed up around noon time. Plants and trees everywhere, six blocks down was the beach which I practically lived. I almost drowned once but that’s pretty good after a lifetime of swimming in the ocean. 

I always thought it was so neat to be able to see the ocean from my cousin's house. Getting down to the beach was the ultimate rush tho! My Uncle had taken skateboards and built them into scooters and we all had one. Our shoes were our brakes much to my mother's dismay. I sure wish I had that kind of energy again running up and down that hill and stomping through the neighbor's yards playing the night game of tag. It was non-stop fun. Then we would all go upstairs and blankets were laid out for us all to sleep on in that attic with the slanted walls that I occasionally hit my head on.

 I had my first coffee from my Aunt Stella. Lots of creamer and  sugar and I loved it! My mother was totally against it so it was our little secret. Next would come running in and out and all around the neighborhood until it became the time for homemade ice cream that never failed to give me brain freeze, but it was so good. That and watermelon and after we were done eating we would have watermelon seed spitting contests. Watermelon seeds everywhere which made the critters happy. I love it there.

 My Aunt read Tarot Cards which my mother was totally against, but I'm sorry to say my mother didn't like much of anything. I liked the inside of Aunt Stella's house with the beaded curtains which us kids would go swishing through and brightly colored decorations all over. My mother found it “tacky”. I loved it. I would dream of how this was my real life and thank God for dreams for they are free. 

To be continued next Thinking Back Tuesday

How do you like my story so far?

Thinking Back Tuesdays My Story #2

Continued from last Tuesday...

                                                 Grandma Rose's Story

When I was a little girl I was very calm most of the time. I could be a silly little thing making jokes and giggles laughing so hard at it all. I remember going to bed and this was up until I was eight years old,  dreaming away in full color and remembering every detail as if I was actually there. One of my dreams was I would float higher and higher looking down on the world.

Another dream I used to have on a regular basis was my father, mother and me driving in a jungle at top speed with a dinosaur right be-hide us and it crashing through the window dragging my mother out of the car. Weird.

Another one was about getting lost. I would be shopping and I remember in my dream picking up some pants thinking to myself how real they felt. Then I would be in a horseshoe type apartment complex on the walkway and my mother was gone and I was all alone.

I loved my dreams about flying it was so fun! These dreams were on replay most of my childhood. In fact, when I lived in Waterboro, Maine your Daddy was 2 or 3 years old and he was having bad dreams. He came to me one night and told me he didn't want to go to bed because he was having bad dreams so being the awesome Mommy that I was I did a chant which I repeated as he got a little older.

The chant went something like this. While I was whirling around and around with my arms outstretched I would chant: “Bad dreams bad dreams go away...repeat...Go away to the moon”! Which then I would make a sweeping motion with my arms as if gathering up all the bad dream vibes and tossing them into the air. It got a little tricky me being so clumsy, but I pulled it off.

Our local Elementary School was from Kindergarten to the 6th grade. All I remember about Kindergarten is gram crackers & milk and laying down to rest on a mat.  I remember hanging upside down when I was in 4th  grade falling flat on my back knocking the wind right out of me, playing RingaRoundtheRosie and writing Mike in the sand with the toe of my shoe. Guess I started liking boys at a tender age!

I also started singing in the 6th grade which I took all the way to the 12th grade. I'm telling you nowadays it's a lot better with hot lunches. No soggy tuna sandwiches or warm baloney...gross! And no warm smelly milk jugs. Lunch was not a fun time!

I loved to run and I was fast although I'd fall down hence the scars on my knees. I remember this boy. I was with a bunch of school girls and the boys were across the field and one threw a rock hitting me. I was very angry about that and, later on, that day at next recess I spotted him. That's when my white saddle shoes came in handy which I hated with a passion. Without thinking, I snuck up behind him and kicked him as hard as I could in the ankle almost dropping him to the ground. He never bothered me again.

I have always been a loner as a kid and later as a teenager. Nothing like I am now. I would hook up with one friend and tolerate the others. This one girl I became friends with the friendship started out  in the school yard. I had grabbed her sweater from her and we were racing around the school yard, but I could run circles around her. There was this Volley Board which I loved playing on and as we were running around it I tossed up her sweater and lo and behold it draped right over the top...opps!

 Needless to say, I got in trouble for that one with the janitor having to get a ladder to get her sweater! We became friends after that. The family was Mormons. All the houses in the Dream Homes were one of two models so being in a friend's house was almost like being at home minus the yelling. There were 3 girls and 1 boy and I practically lived over there. I remember sitting down and having one of the sisters brush my hair for hours and talking the night away. As life went on we lost touch only to touch base with each other after 30 years. All because of Facebook.

To be continued next Tuesday....

Thinking Back Tuesdays Story Time #1

I started writing my story at the urging of my kids, several years ago. Personally I think they wore weary of all my stories, just kidding kids! I would think about it a lot finally putting pen to paper fingers to keyboard when my first grandchild was born. You are my motivation dear one. I never knew I could love anyone else as much as my own children for which there is none like a mother's love which is where the term "I love you to the moon and back" comes from. I have made mistakes, moved mountains, motivated by my children, raising them to be strong, independent people, and to be better off than I was. I wasn't prepared for Empty Nest Syndrome which hit me hard when my son spread his wings and flew off to the military.You would of thought the sting of separation would of been lessened, he had been going to Florida to see his father and his wonderful now wife since he was five or six. I remember that was the very first time I had ever sat foot in a commercial airline, my son looking so tiny in the seat. That was the day my heart broke, just a little. I think the oceans are really made of all the mother's in the world's tears.

The stewardess assured me he would be watched over all the way there and I managed to hold back my tears until I stepped off the plane watching it fly my little son away from me. Hours later I got the expected phone call that all was well, I could finally relax.
Now when my daughter grew up and decided she wanted adventure I gave her my blessing, smiling and waving good-bye, I wished her well breathing a sigh of relief that she had the strength to leave the go nowhere town we lived in, closed the door and cried, my heart breaking a little more.
I am lucky that despite all the miles and years that go by we are deeply, completely bound to each other staying in touch through Skype, Facebook, phone calls, letters and cards and visits. Also talking to everyone I know I have drawn comfort that I am not alone in missing my children. I started this story while you were still in your mommy's belly. You were early, you little early bird! Grandma loves you already.
So without further ado here is Grandma Rose's story, my gift to you. Oh yes, You have a little brother coming and we all are going to have a wonderful time!

                                         GRANDMA ROSE'S ADVENTURES

Hello, little one and by little one I'm talking to you while you are still in your Mommy's belly.I already have an idea of what you will look like from your sonogram. Your parents are really looking forward to meeting you and so is everyone else.

Your name has changed a couple of times, but that’s just normal and what parents do. Your Aunt Amy who is my oldest daughter was born June 21st, 1980 in Palm Springs, California where I was raised. I wanted to name her “Summer” and it just happens that “Summer Begins” is June 21st which I think would have been too cool but at my mother's insistent nagging, I ended up naming her Amy and I think now it may be Cindy but hang on...I'm getting ahead of myself! You will read about Aunt Amy later.

How Grandpa C. and I got your daddy's name was we made a deal. Grandpa C. was in charge of the first names, I was in charge of the middle name. After you were born, I chose to name your father after my grandpa who is with the angels now. It's a nice strong name.

I asked your mommy on Facebook how she got her name and she told me, “My mom just liked the name”. “My middle name is my mom and dads middle name together”.

Now your Aunt Ariel came by her name from the Movie The Little Mermaid. I loved the spelling, not to mention the movie, which me and your daddy watch at least a million  hundred times, and her middle name Chelsie was a name I really liked from a man who's daughter was named, thinking it sounded like a song. I love the way your Auntie's whole name sounds like singing.

Okay, kiddo Grandma's Adventures is about to begin... Stay tuned for the next installment of  GRANDMA ROSE'S ADVENTURES next Tuesday's Thinking Back Tuesdays Story Time.

I really really want everyone's input and I have a thick skin and am willing to learn so please comment what you all think!

Thinking Back Tuesdays #1 Has Begun

Thinking back Tuesdays is official. I have been reading tons of advice and such coming to the conclusion that slow as a turtle will win my continuing growth as a Grandma blogger. I tried learning how to insert tabs coming to the conclusion I'm a better writer getting too frustrated trying to insert for example 'tabs'. The happy part is I like the way my blog looks now. Don't hold your breath tho!

I started out today going to my Facebook. In one of my earlier posts, I had  announced quitting one of their games for I was sick of the program bogging down everything else I tried to do. It feels good not to get all disgruntled all day long. I wanted to say good morning to my daughter that I saw online, my boy wasn't there. Then I watched my grandson's video's and I can tell you I am set for the day as far as smiles. Thank you Britany for posting those and all the pictures so far. I'm very proud of her.

In watching my grandson I thought how amazing it was to watch a little being that has me in him interacting. Like my babies when they were little he is full of smiles. It makes me remember days that I thought I had forgotten when mine were little. 

                          Grandma Rose's Adventures

My first born Amy was about six months old when she first started rolling over as well. First times are so amazing and never get old! I was living in Chula Vista, San Diego in a two-bedroom apartment in a Navy based huge building. My ex-husband had disappeared leaving me all alone with my baby daughter. I had gone out one day and landed a job at a restaurant called Bob's Big Boy as a hostess.

The uniform was a brown skirt that zipped up in back, a white shirt with your hair pulled back with a hairpiece you attached to the back of your neck. I had put Amy in the middle of my bed getting ready when I heard ~thump~ startled I looked up. Amy had rolled off the bed landing on the carpet.

Needless to say, I rushed over picking up my wailing baby soothing her until she stopped crying. Then I gave her some baby Tylenol figuring if she had any aches from the fall it would make her feel better. That was my first heart-attack. After that, I surrounded her with pillows so that didn't happen again.

So of course, when my son Tysen and my daughter, Ariel came along I was ready this time by God. I found out the hard way you can't take your eyes off your baby even for a few seconds because that's all the time it takes for an accident to happen.

Amy was fine by the way, back to her happy little self. My ex-husband? Well, my old boss from the Sports Fishing boat I had worked on with my ex-husband came to see me one day at work. As I walked up to him all kinds of crazy thoughts were running through my head watching his somber face. My Ex had been gone for two weeks by now. The Captain informed me that my Ex had been working on a boat for the last two weeks and he wanted me to know.

Needless to say, I got a transfer to the Bob's Big Boy in Cathedral City, California, called my mom and dad getting the hell out of dodge!

100 Exquisite Adjectives by Mark Nichol

I love learning new words or being reintroduced to one. I ran across a list of them and will add a word a day.

Word#42 Insidious: subtle, seductive, treacherous

In a sentence: You are insidious I told my horrible husband.

Easter In Vermont

Easter is coming on the 27th.  I have been doing a lot of thinking about past Easter's. Growing up in Palm Springs, California the Easter's of my childhood were always hot and sunny. Here in the East, you may still see snow on the ground, melting, or it could actually snow.

I will never forget when my first-born, Amy was a toddler. My mother and I had taken her to this big park with rolling hills of green grass hiding our brightly colored eggs all around making them easily accessible for a small child to find.

Amy was looking for eggs at my mother's and I prompting where there was an egg that was nestled at the top of an empty pole hole. When she bent over to pick up her Easter egg it disappeared from sight. It had fallen straight down that hole! The look on Amy's face was priceless. I burst out laughing going over to see where the egg went. That memory is stuck in my mind.

When my son was born so did my love for all holidays only now I got to see them through my children's eyes. Since I was living in Maine by now most of the egg hunting were inside the house starting out easy to find then getting a little harder as my son got older.

I loved making the Easter baskets. I would find discount baskets, fill them with small toys, some chocolate, sprinkling jelly beans all through the grass. Then I would wrap up the whole basket with colored Suran Wrap, stand back to admire, then placed where my son could find it.

There is nothing like the excited gleam in your child's eyes as each treasure was found. I had also filled plastic eggs with small goodies maybe going a little overboard but I was filling in what I had always wanted to do, had the money at the time, so I took advantage of that curious, fun-loving inner-child of mine.

Four years later I had a daughter. The Little Mermaid was big when she was born and she was named Ariel. I just loved the movie watching it over and over again with my little son who was into all the cartoons and animated movies. Teenage Turtles was one of my favorites. Lion King was made just for me, I just knew it!

Then Easter turned into Easter for two which became a whole new ballgame balancing the 'first-timers' with an older sibling who wanted nothing more than to help his little sister. My son was a loving, bouncy, animated child while my daughter was very somber, mulling over a question, then answering it thoughtfully.

There were times at the park where I remember one-time big brother had to protect little sister from some of the most rambunctious children so she could find her own eggs. There were the egg toss and egg drop games. It was a lot of fun trying to figure out how to drop an egg and not break it from a very long height.

Another memory just flashed through my mind of when I had joined The Salvation Army church services where on Easter Sunday my kids were in a play. Thank goodness I have it all recorded on tape, making plans to convert them all to disks.

Now I have a grandson with another on the way and can watch them enjoy the holidays. Well, one this year anyways. I would never trade my kids successes and accomplishments or ask them to come nearer to me. Both are thriving adults and I thank God for that, but I don't think I will ever shake the sadness that is lodged deep in me for not being able to actually be there all the time.

My heart goes out to all the Grandparents and parents who are feeling the same thing. And you never know about the future do you. Here are some free printables I found with no copyright issues.

https://www.pinterest.com/readyteacher/
Thank you www.readyteacher.com

What are your plans for Easter?

Looking For My Daughter

JUNE 21ST 1979

MOTHER: SHERYL ANN (DAVIS) BARKER/ROSE

FATHER: DONALD BARKER

MOTHER'S MOM: NANCY DAVIS

MOTHER'S FATHER: CHARLES DAVIS

MOTHER'S BROTHER: CHRISTOPHER DAVIS

I last saw Amy when she was 4 years of age when my mother agreed to take her while I moved with the intention of coming for her when I settled in.
I had 2 letters from her when she was a teenager and that's the last I ever heard from her.
I have never stopped loving Amy Rebeckah; I think about you every day, and I will never stop looking for you.

IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION PLEASE CONTACT ME ON FACEBOOK UNDER EITHER SAGIE ROSE OR SHERYL ROSE

I am fifty-seven years old now. In the hopes of growing 'gracefully' older, my age doesn't seem 'that' old. As far as missing a piece of your soul and heart, it's a lifetime.

I haven't seen or heard except when she was sixteen in two letters from my first-born child Amy. In her letters, she told me she wanted to change her name to Cindy.

With the help of others, I managed to track her down hopes held high, with excitement and anticipation I tried the two numbers that I had obtained. Both phones rang and rang and rang, you get the message. I tried for two weeks finally giving up muttering doesn't everyone on earth have some kind of answering machine?

She will be in her early Thirties. In my mind, she is still this sweet blonde haired happy child that joyfully played and ran around.

I have often laid in bed beating myself up for the choices I made that led me up to losing touch with my daughter often crying myself to sleep. It will be a regret and ache that will never go away.

I managed to find my brother after thirty years, talked on the phone for hours. He had no idea where she was telling me she looked a lot like me.

Where ever you are I love you honey and hope someday you and I will be with each other again.

Inside Grandma Rose's Head

Every since I was a child I have dreamed in full color and when waking remembering my dream. What a hodgepodge dream I had last night.

I dreamed of a harbor that was surrounded by cliffs with dolphins swimming along side of you. The sun never did come out. It was gray and a little gloomy. Then finding a pile of money but leaving it alone knowing it belonged to someone else.

A hundred dollar bill is pretty tempting.

Then the 'dream switch' where you're suddenly in a different dream. In this one, I can drive an R.C.T. But this R.C.T. has no brake pads. Always a catch. I tribute my crazy dreaming to all the movies and online shows  I've been watching.

I mostly love supernatural stuff. Season 2 of the Dusk To Dawn series on Netflix came out and the binge-watching will now begin. I will share with you some of my thoughts when I'm watching horror flicks and other movies.

THOUGHTS WHILE WATCHING MOVIES

1. Would you call out hello hearing someone scream in the distance in a dark, dank hallway...or run like hell?

2. Why do morgue techies wear bleach white lab coats? (This thought is from I-Zombie on Netflix)

3. Why do vampires drool blood all over themselves? They don't drool anything else all over themselves.

Last night I watched 10.0 Earthquake on Netflix. The story was based in Los Angeles, California. Growing up in Palm Springs, California I've been to L.A. a few times. Too much smog.

As I watched it I was reminded of small earthquakes I grew up with. The schools taught us what to do to stay as safe as you could be with your world falling to pieces all around you.

The 1994 Northridge earthquake I read about, watching freeways crumble, already living in Maine, I couldn't believe my eyes. Mother Nature keeps trying to take her earth back. She may succeed one day. I'm just glad I'm here and not there.

What crazy thoughts do you get? I love stories so do tell.

100 Exquisite Adjectives
By Mark Nichol

I love words and came across a list of them. I'm going to add a word a day to my posts as long as I don't forget.

Word #5
Antic: clownish, frolicsome

Matthew was laughing uncontrollably over the antics of the puppy.

Pain In My Neck #Part 1

The first injury to my neck I was 15 years of age. My family and I were camping in Glamis, Calif.

http://www.blm.gov/ca/st/en/fo/elcentro/recreation/ohvs/isdra.html 

I sure miss those days. There was a big canal we would go swimming in and I had learned to backflip. So of course new skill, I'm gonna nonchalantly show it off every chance I got.

The first couple of times I was okay. It was sunny and very very hot around 100 degrees or so. Bright blue sky and no clouds in sight. The water was cold and refreshing. I should have stopped diving into the water like a backwards dolphin but oh no..new skill you see.

I'm standing on the edge. Between backwards diving, splashing around and trying to find a not muddy part of the steep bank, we kids had moved away from where we had started.

I stand there with my back to the water and casually do my back dive in slow motion I may add...yeah I'm proud of my old limberness and POW!!!I heard this loud boom coming out of my head as I crumble down on myself water swirling and bubbles everywhere. I had hit the canal's sandy ledge.

All I remember is seeing my Uncle Dan's arm and hand which I grabbed and he hauled me out of the water. He's telling my dad, Sheryl went over backwards then all I saw was her crumbling into a heap. Then he goes on he was going to dive in to save me but I popped up out of that water, eyes all wide, and I was clawing my way up that muddy bank. Survival of the fittest dolphin.

I sat there cross-legged on the bank side holding my head muttering I got a headache. Then mom came into the picture doing the mother freak out thing and we all rush to the Glamis ER. Aspirin anyone?

I came very close to dying that day, but I had almost broken my neck that day. That was the start of the chronic pain. I had no idea being the delightful storyteller that I am <<grins hugely>> this post would be this long so I'll do Part 2 later on the other neck injury that sealed the deal for that saying...your a"pain in my neck".