Chemical Imbalance Used To Rule My Life #FixThePlus

I have been watching and have been very into this show True Detectives that another blogger I met and have been communicating with recommended. He is super easy to talk to and if you would like to check him out click on this link http://yourmoviesinmind.blogspot.co.uk/

Needless to say, I had to slow myself down a bit so I can add to my blog instead of letting it slip away like I do some projects.

I went over to my kitchen sink for some reason; can't really remember why. I think to turn on the kitchen light. All morning the sun's been trying to come out and not doing a very good job of it!

Then I was facing a sinkful of dishes I had put off and decided to start washing. I got all the way to the silverware and a couple of pans; the top of the stove still needs to be washed; before my back started to tighten up which reminded me of the days I used to blame almost all my pain that I suffer with now on my past relationships.

Some of them are the direct aftermath of old injuries from past relationships.where in that world it was pretty much normal for an argument to escalate into physical violence. All this is going through my mind as I'm washing dishes as fast as I can before back pain sets in!

The world I'm in now there is no fighting, pushing or smacking. No name calling or jealously. No drinking no smoking. Before when I was in my 20's, 30's and even early 40's I thought that was so boring. And no one was going to tell me different.

For the 10 years I've been with my husband for we lived together first before we got married I have been bruise free. He had never ever laid a hand on me even though at first I would shy away if I thought he was which was all in my head.

What I'm doing is simply telling my story and hopefully save someone else from making choices that can put you in danger. I was that daredevil.

This post lets start from the top. By top I mean head and my brain. I had the best Doctor ever in Maine before I moved to Vermont. Years ago he discovered I had a chemical imbalance. Now I take two Zoloft a day to keep the anger away. Been taking my medication for years.

Evidently chemical imbalances seem to run through my family but just the women. Looking back I remember around twelve first my Grandma had to be institutionalized after my grandpa had left her. Then my mother same thing ending with my father leaving her as well.

Not a good batting average.My mother wouldn't take her meds saying they made her feel funny which back then these meds did exactly that!

So now I have my head together and believe me you don't want to see me off of them. I seem to grow porcupine quills and try and shoot them at everyone! I know this because I tried it thinking "I'm fine, I don't need Zoloft". The end result of that was calling up my job; quitting; being hired back with 2 weeks to get back on my meds again.

So if you feel you can't control certain emotional issues talk to your doctor. You may need a little extra help.

How do you deal with life' emotional battles?


100 Exquisite Adjectives by Mark Nichol

I love learning new words or being reintroduced to one. I ran across a list of them and will add a word a day.

Word#53 Loquacious: talkative

In a sentence: Being as loquacious as she was, I got the whole story.

My New Brain Picker

Today was my very first visit with my psychiatric nurse. I have had counselors before and I was looking forward to this new experience with I call the 'real deal'.

He opens the door to the hallway where his office is and off we go to his nice roomy office. He says to take a seat anywhere prompting me to plop down on a nice soft couch letting out a sigh of relief.

This is the part I liked the best. We went all the way back to my early childhood for now I'm ready to face my demons with his help.

When the hour which felt like seconds was up I told him I liked him and he has kind eyes. That's a big plus for me.

It was nice to tell some things I have never told a living soul, my expectations are high.

Is there a "Grandma Pasture" I can go to?

Yesterday I was the Queen of Forgetfulness. My husband needed pain medication and he can't walk very far. I shouldn't and I should take a cab, but the cheapo in me says, "walk Sheryl...it's beautiful outside, you'll be fine." I bet I would have been fine if I hadn't had to make the trip 3 times.

Now how in the world did I have to make three trips you ask? Was it my chemical imbalance, was it I'm getting older, hell if I know, but I climb the little trail out front leading up to the rail tracks. Construction men are working away with hot black tar and I'm wearing a light blue dress. The possibilities are endless as far as my imagination goes about my dress getting dirty.

It's really not that far but after that little hill my heart is pounding away and didn't stop all the way to Rite-Aid. I'm thinking this weight differently has to come off as memories of pies, cookies and cake float by in my memory.

So I make it and as the doors open sweet cold air hits me in the face. I work my way to the back, tell them what I need and sit down to wait. After only a half hour of waiting, I go to get all our meds and find out I had forgotten the prescription paper for hubbies meds. Crappppppppp I scream silently inside my head, smile and say I will be right back.

I make it home sweaty and hot, breathing heavily, plop down in my chair and manage to gasp out...where's the prescription?

Okay, I'm determined to get through this walk again, grab my purse and off I go down the street and I'm at the end of the street I check my bag. NO PRECRIPTIONNNNN. Now I'm wondering about my sanity and what in the world am I doing, so I go back up the street, climb my stairs...again, open the door where my husband tells me I tried yelling for you, but you were already gone.

This time around I go in the bathroom and tie my hair up which was way cooler this time around, but I must have checked my purse 10 times before I got back to Rite-Aid. My prize for not giving up and getting my hubby some pain killers...2 1 pint cans of Twisted Tea. And I still got one left!

It's a trip getting older. I wish I had been the one to invent sticky notes!