Monday Memories #13 #FixThePlus

Continuing from last Memory Monday...

I was having a blast working on my boat then I became pregnant. Up until that morning, I was never sick. Well, I was now. I had woke up on one of our overnight trips ready to start cooking starting with the bacon and oh boy, my stomach rolled completely over causing me to run for the railing.

After that, I was fine working until the end of that summer then moved back home while I was pregnant. I was starting over again renting a studio apt. in Cathedral City, California.

My big thing was going over to Thrifty's where there was a small ice cream vendor with those big tubs of ice cream which I would have four different kinds of ice cream to make baby happy, at least that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

I was becoming disenchanted with my husband, though. I was finding out he was what was called a Chronic Liar. He was shifty, lazy and a liar. That was the biggest thing, the lying. If you have someone like this in your life, best to get rid of them.

My mother was making one of her visits. This particular time let's see, I was around eight months. Mom comes in and despite my telling her that I was fine she went to the refrigerator to get some ice. That's about all there was besides a package of luncheon meat. Next thing I knew we were going grocery shopping with my mother muttering the whole time. It's kinda funny now.

After we made sandwiches she finally dropped some news on me. It was about my husband. She had seen him over at Jack-In-The-Box eating lunch with a co-worker. I was stunned not wanting to believe that. Of course, when he got home later he denied it all. I let it drop because no one really wants to think that the father of your baby would do such a thing.

That job he had was detailing cars which lasted about a week. He came home one day telling me he had a new job at J.C. Pennys as a stock person. I was over come with pride and happiness.  He was finally telling me the truth. Until my mother came over and my world was about to become shattered once again.

So mom comes over asking where my husband was? I told her at work of course. He had been leaving every day at the same time, coming home at the same time for around a week now. She didn't want to tell me but she did anyways, he wasn't working at  J.C. Pennys as a stock person. I didn't believe her and got really angry thinking my mom didn't like my husband and why was she picking on him for?

So she switched gears, said it was her mistake and that she had the best idea, how about she took me and Don out for lunch? I was excited and we went over to the Palm Springs Mall going into Pennys to where the layaway dept. was and asked for my husband. Needless to say, he wasn't there and when I showed the man a picture of him he remembered Don had gone in one day and that was it.

I blew a fuse. Mom brought me back home and I waited. When that door opened I was right there, drew back and slapped the crap out of him yelling and cussing how could you lie to me like that? He tried to get out of it but I called mom, she came back to get me where I stayed for a few days to cool off. When he came to see me I forgave him once again and left with him

Now as you have read a man doesn't have to hit you but messing with your mind is a whole lot crueler. Maybe I was extra sensitive to lying for I was very blunt and didn't lie as a rule. Not to mention I was trying to make the best out of a rebound situation...until next Memory Monday take care of yourself.

Monday Memories #11 #FixThePlus

My first child was born at the Desert Hospital. I was in labor 16 hours with her. The whole time no drugs. I wanted natural and that was that.Unfortunately, at the end of all that time, I had become weak and not pushing wasn't an option anymore for I had only dilated to a four and you have to go to ten, the baby wasn't waiting anymore! 

My doctor made the call for a C-Section; I freaked and the last thing I remember is a white mask being put over my face. Next I'm being woken up by a nurse saying “Mrs. Barker you had a baby girl” and me all groggy telling her I did not! Then there she was my sweet baby girl.

They ended up keeping her though releasing me thinking she had jaundice and I was determined to breastfeed so for four days I went back and forth to the hospital every four hours until the nurses convinced me to sleep the night and they would give her a bottle at night so I could rest. 

I was so tired with dark circles under my eyes I looked like a heroin addict! Finally, I was able to bring her home which made me really happy.

When she had troubles sleeping me and my husband would take Amy out for a drive and it worked every time.

We lasted three years together and I don't regret being with him, but he just wasn't husband material, but he wasn't my last mistake. The lesson here was don't rebound to a guy to get over another guy to avoid the heartache pain which really really hurts.

So I remember a blonde headed free-spirited, laughing beautiful child of four and the last I saw of her was her face looking out the back window waving. It hurts to this day and still makes me cry which is what I am ready to do now.

Nothing will ever erase the pain of missing out on raising your child because of mistakes in choices that I made. Her birthday is the 21st of June, this month as a matter of fact. I have tried to find her all the while my heart beating wildly at the thought she may not want me to find her.

I have hit dead-end after dead-end but maybe someday....

How To Deal With A Senior Moment #FixThePlus *

If you read yesterday's post you will of remembered my post about lost stuff and where does it go?

Totally baffled I was.

And spent about 20 mins. looking around poking into where ever I thought I may have put these brightly colored plastic popsicle sticks!

Even asked my husband...

Sooooo this morning as I'm waking up I'm seeing in my mind's eye the bag of homemade smoothie cycles with all those shiny brightly colored sticks stuck in them nestled in my freezer door.

 Hurray! I found them!

Right, where they were supposed to be.

All I can say is ~wow~ and the fact now I'm aware that my husband would like fudge cycles!

Once again a good chuckle on me.

Then I remembered the time I left toilet paper in the freezer, keys, lost a couple of gas caps and that favorite leaving the drink on top of your car and driving away while a fellow motorist is frantically trying to wave you down!

You don't have to be a senior to have a senior moment, but it sure does help.

What's the wackiest senior moment you ever had?

How To Handle A Rebound, The Wrong Way #FixThePlus *

 I have always wanted to embrace life and all it had to offer. I have the curiosity and wonderment of a small child. I want to live! To enjoy the beauty that life has to offer. And I love helping out people. My friend says "I follow my heart."I wish my heart had better sense!

 Little did I know it can get out of control and blow up in your face causing great pain but I have and did use my mistakes for the good. All I can do is hopefully give the person reading this a kinship and comfort that you are not alone. And faith that better days will come.As I grow older I'm learning how to forgive myself. Some things I have. Some things I still struggle with. 

 We're Going To The Chapel. 

I stood in blue jeans and a cool blouse quietly saying, "I do" in front of the Justice of the Peace at the City Hall in Los Vegas, Nevada.

It was 1977 and looking at that date it seems so long ago. I was eighteen and my soon to be husband was 20 years of age. I had known him all of a few months. I had just had my heart broken by a boy and instead of wallowing in pain I latched on to this young man. 

I was eloping in defiance of being told what to do all the time and all my life by my mother. My new found freedom I had been waiting years and years for wasn't complete yet. I still lived at home and had to listen to a mother who thought she knew the right way for everything. 

Her way was the right way and she would not let it go. Plus insisting that "shacking up" was bad.I was going to burn in the fires of hell. Getting married THEN having sex was good. So to shut her up and plus even though I disagreed with almost everything she said, I still loved and wanted her approval.  

I should have listened to my inner intuition when on the way there my future husband's brother's car had broken down on the way to Los Vegas, Nevada  making us all nice and hot and sweaty.

But it was done my new husband and I came down the steps only to get rice slammed in our faces by my new brother-in-law. Another sign? It was very surreal, but I embraced it as a new adventure and was ready for action!

Got on the phone and announced,"Guess what mom I got married." What a wonderful daughter I was! 

Ever do something impulsive and want to take it back?