Needless to say, I had to slow myself down a bit so I can add to my blog instead of letting it slip away like I do some projects.
I went over to my kitchen sink for some reason; can't really remember why. I think to turn on the kitchen light. All morning the sun's been trying to come out and not doing a very good job of it!
Then I was facing a sinkful of dishes I had put off and decided to start washing. I got all the way to the silverware and a couple of pans; the top of the stove still needs to be washed; before my back started to tighten up which reminded me of the days I used to blame almost all my pain that I suffer with now on my past relationships.
Some of them are the direct aftermath of old injuries from past relationships.where in that world it was pretty much normal for an argument to escalate into physical violence. All this is going through my mind as I'm washing dishes as fast as I can before back pain sets in!
The world I'm in now there is no fighting, pushing or smacking. No name calling or jealously. No drinking no smoking. Before when I was in my 20's, 30's and even early 40's I thought that was so boring. And no one was going to tell me different.
For the 10 years I've been with my husband for we lived together first before we got married I have been bruise free. He had never ever laid a hand on me even though at first I would shy away if I thought he was which was all in my head.
What I'm doing is simply telling my story and hopefully save someone else from making choices that can put you in danger. I was that daredevil.
This post lets start from the top. By top I mean head and my brain. I had the best Doctor ever in Maine before I moved to Vermont. Years ago he discovered I had a chemical imbalance. Now I take two Zoloft a day to keep the anger away. Been taking my medication for years.
Evidently chemical imbalances seem to run through my family but just the women. Looking back I remember around twelve first my Grandma had to be institutionalized after my grandpa had left her. Then my mother same thing ending with my father leaving her as well.
Not a good batting average.My mother wouldn't take her meds saying they made her feel funny which back then these meds did exactly that!
So now I have my head together and believe me you don't want to see me off of them. I seem to grow porcupine quills and try and shoot them at everyone! I know this because I tried it thinking "I'm fine, I don't need Zoloft". The end result of that was calling up my job; quitting; being hired back with 2 weeks to get back on my meds again.
So if you feel you can't control certain emotional issues talk to your doctor. You may need a little extra help.
How do you deal with life' emotional battles?
100 Exquisite Adjectives by Mark Nichol
I love learning new words or being reintroduced to one. I ran across a list of them and will add a word a day.
Word#53 Loquacious: talkative
In a sentence: Being as loquacious as she was, I got the whole story.
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